Tag Archives: people

The Cycle Repeats.

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What is it with people? Is it their hobby or something? Their passion? Something they take pleasure in? A past time? Something that makes them feel alive?

People love to disappoint, don’t they? It’s just that when you start to get closer to somebody and you get to know them, you start to expect things out of them. At first its little things and then big ones. It all goes fine at first and you are high up in the sky on cloud 9. But then the person get’s a sudden urge to pull you down. They disappoint you, in the worst way possible. And it breaks your heart. Shatters it. You cry, you scream but nobody else knows because you keep it to yourself. Soon enough you realize that it was your fault after all. You are the one who expected something. You are the one who gave them the opportunity to break you. And after that, you wipe your tears, you get up and walk away carrying the memory of the pain you felt. You make it a habit never to expect anything out of anybody. You don’t let anybody get close to you. You put up a barrier against people, even the ones you love. You vow to protect yourself from that heartbreak.

But once in a while, a person comes around. A person who makes you want to lower the barrier and to give him a chance. And silly as you are you neglect the memory you carry with you. You forget the pain you felt, the agony you went through. And yet again, you give them the chance. You let them come close. You begin to expect things from them. And once again, you are disappointed. You are broken. You fall, you cry, you scream. You realize your mistake. You wipe your tears, you get up and walk away, this time carrying a new memory of pain with you.

Friday Post #1- You make your descisions based on values, not on people.

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I recently had a couple of counseling sessions with the Co-ordinator of our section which was a result of me doing something that got me in trouble. Anyhow, those two session made me realize something about us. Most of us make descisions according to the people involved rather than our values. Our values are basically the our own personal laws. Often we make descision out of peer pressure or merely to do a favor or please somebody. Those descision usually disagree with our values. I myself have made descisions like those. Dares that I didn’t want to do but I completed them just for the sake of the people around me. We know that what we are doing is wrong yet we silence our conscience and continue to do the wrong because of people. But how important are people when you yourself aren’t important in your own eyes? When you don’t respect your values and yourself then nobody respects you. Because on people’s eyes you are only what you appear to be. True appearances don’t matter, but you don’t need to potray an image that disagrees with your personality delibrately. 

Hate is just love gone bad

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I read this saying somewhere that, “Hate is just love gone bad.” At that time I hadn’t given much thought to it. I had no idea how much I would begin to relate to it later in my life. True hate is like a fire that burns inside from the bottom of your heart for that one person. The one person who wrecked you, tore you apart piece by piece. Who could have gotten such access to your heart other that the one you love most? You gave them a chance and opened the doors of ypur heart for them and they entered full loaded with the most deadly weapons. But despite this tragedy, deep down you still love them. Image

Lost.

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So many people, so many expectations. Everybody wants me to change according to their choice. expectations are good when they kept me going, but when there are too many of them they just become a burden on me, an obstacle. I’m surrounded by so many people that love me because I changed according to their liking. People are never satisfied or happy. They always want something more. If someone wants one thing another person want something else entirely. They say they love me for who I am but who I am is not what they want. They want something else. And all this this time, while I tried to please them all, I lost my identity. I don’t know who I am anymore. What made me special is no longer there. And strangely I can’t seem to remember myself. They lost me and so did I.