As it is, I happen to be a firm believer in this. Most of us are and we do tend to move on from our horrible pasts and forget about it sooner or later. But there are some of us who have committed such mistakes in our pasts that we find it hard to let go. I have a friend who is suffering from a similar situation. Two years ago, she made a mistake. Though, nobody other than us knows about it, she is unable to forget it or forgive herself for committing it in the first place. She states that forgetting it and moving on won’t change what she did. But regretting over it won’t either. It’s easy to understand that it hasn’t been long since this unfortunate event and it’s quite reasonable for her to be upset over it but for how long does she want to put up with this regret?
She refuses to get into any relationship with any guy or even get close to a guy because as we all know that in a relationship, be it love or just friendship, it can not start with secrets. In order to keep a healthy relationship we have to keep ourselves open. She fears that if she tells somebody about her past, no matter how close they have gotten, the person will not accept herpast and will eventually start hating her for it. It will change their whole perspective about her and she will lose them. This is quite reasonable because not many guys accept a girl’s ugly past. They just can’t accept that there was someone before them. No matter how long ago it happened, it will affect them whether they decide to show it or not and later on in the long run, this topic of discussion will come up in the numerous arguments that they will go through. It’s like a stab of pain whenever they think about it. Same is the case with girls.
Ah girls! Jealous, jealous girls! (Stop smirking, I am one of them!) We (Yes, I’ll speak in first-person now) don’t like the idea of another girl with our guy. The thought is infuriating. I have to admit, this behavior is quite irrational. I mean what’s happened in the past in is in the past. It’s won’t happen again so we can let go of our held-up breaths. We all need to move on. And moving on doesn’t just mean living on with our life. It means forgetting it. Completely. It may seem hard but we need to realize that the person who we are with right now loves us unconditionally. If he/she was still attached to his past lovers then he would be with them and not with us. It’s as simple as that.
My friend also changed a lot. changes that can be termed both as good and bad. The good part is that she realized her limits with everybody. She knows when to stop when things start to get too far. The bad part, however, is that she realized her limits and backs off abruptly, leaving the person hurt and wounded. She says that these changes have saved her from many situations that could hurt her. Obviously, from what she has been through it is only natural that she is protecting herself but God, she doesn’t have to punish others.
Well, so I had a long conversation with her regarding this topic but the stubborn girl that she is she is adamant on her thoughts. I think that we shouldn’t exactly forget our past but remember it in a good way, so in the future we can avoid such mistakes and make the best out of them. Others’ pasts however are not so significant as they are gone and now we are the ones that matter. Cheers.