Heartless.

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Okay so lately, I’ve become this hateful kind of person. My friends call me the hater of the world. And it’s kind of true. I am a hater. I do not normally like people. I mean when I meet someone, my first instinct is to hate that person. Plus I have rash thoughts. I basically want to murder everybody. I can not tolerate much anymore. Not only this, I don’t feel anything anymore either. It’s like I’m numb. I am completely devoid of all feeling. Even if I want to, I don’t feel anything anymore. 

It’s kind of sad. I used to be sweet and kind. I used to be able to feel. Now I’m just awkward waiting for something to happen. But then again, when my friends call me heartless I secretly feel satisfied that now even if somebody tried they wouldn’t be able to hurt me. Their words would make no difference. It was my sweetness that was taken advantage of. My kindness used. My generosity taken for granted. Nobody can damage me now, but the real truth is I’m already damaged. Perhaps far too damaged to be saved.  

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