Under the Mask…



I am not who i seem to be. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t lie because I like it, I lie to protect myself. I am hidden behind a mask, one that wasn’t created by me in a days time but created on it’s own over the passage of time and lies. It’s not you I don’t trust it’s myself. I fear that you may not like what you will find beneath that mask. I fear being rejected. What if you don’t like what you’ll find? I don’t want to lose you. My mask changes to everybody’s liking. What if what lies underneath is not what you like? I am full of insecurities. I have a lot of confessions to make. I get jealous easily because everybody else is so much better than me.  What if you leave me? What if you get tired of me? There is nothing special about me. I just love you too much and i am possessive about you. I cry myself to sleep. A lot. I feel sorry for who I am. I am not proud of myself. It’s not as if I’ve lied to you about everything but there are are just somethings that, I feel, are better left unspoken, left for you to understand. It has taken a lot of courage for me to tell you all this, to finally break down my mask.

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